Checking In...

Weekends are HARD.

So I have been a bad blogger (again). I am working on it, people...

Weekends are so packed with friends and obligations these days. I am not sticking to "the plan" that I should be - the cheats add up and I end up about 3 pounds above my LIW. Not good. But I am hoping that this weekend was an exception. We had so many friends in town and a lot of social obligations so it was difficult to sleep enough, work out enough and make good food choices. I weighed down again this morning, so that is good. Only 1.2 over LIW. Phew.

Sleep is KEY to weight loss and weight maintenance. Never made the connection before this diet, but I definitely see how adequate sleep is so important. Now that I track my weight, I have definitely noticed a pattern in my weight and hunger - when I do not sleep 8+ hours, I am hungrier and I hold on to more weight. When I sleep, I weigh less and I make better food choices. That is something I can control and that feels GOOD!

In an effort to get better, more quality sleep, I made a very difficult decision. I have transitioned both my dogs to sleep on the floor instead of with me in the bed. They were waking me up in the middle of the night and crowding me out of my own bed! I couldn't continue that way. The transition has been much easier than I expected and I think I feel worse about it than they do. I have a strong emotional attachment to sleeping with both my dogs because I have been sleeping with either one dog or both almost every night for the last six years. In the long run, I know that they will be better dogs, understand boundaries that that it will make life easier when the Turkey decides we are going to shack up. :) It will be hard and I will have some sad moments, but it is worth it.

So despite the fun and food-filled weekend, I am going to eat clean this week, get to bed on time and try to get some workouts in. I am going to try a new type of heated yoga called Sumits yoga. Should be fun and challenging. I am excited to try something different. Hopefully I will get my bikram in this week as well.

A New Obsession

Greek yogurt!!

Why have I never had this before?! It is awesome! I can't believe I have never tried it before! It is very tasty! I have to buy the full fat version (because of the diet) and then I sweeten it with fruit or stevia. I want to eat it more than once a day but I shouldn't because it still has natural sugars. I hope to explore using greek yogurt for dressings and recipes in the future!

My weight seems to be maintaining. There has been a little creeping over the past couple of days, but it is much easier to eat clean and controlled during the work week and then live a little on the weekends. Turkey and I are trying to get back to being social and hanging out. It is difficult to stick to the diet when confronted with all the delicious things we cannot have. Eventually, we will be able to treat ourselves (in moderation) but I will always keep portion control in check. I learned a little lesson when we ate at Chili's tonight. I treated myself to some chips. I didn't go nuts, but after I ate my Cobb Salad, I was overstuffed and I am still uncomfortable over 3 hours later :(. No bueno. Gotta keep it basic this week for sure!

I also got a work out in both Saturday and Sunday. It looks like I am also going to work out Monday night too! Bikram was much easier today. I had a protein shake and a banana before the workout today and was MUCH more energized, mentally and physically. I also had a friend in the room, which definitely helps. I am hoping to go a couple more times this week if my schedule permits, but I am better emotionally when I make time for yoga. Back and knees are feelin' good so I am going to keep it up! It is amazing how much of a different 20 pounds makes!

Still haven't decided whether I am 100% going to do another round. I am working out and feeling good right now. Just going to take it day by day.

Back to Bikram

So I did my first Bikram class since HCG and it was difficult, both physically and emotionally.

I don't look the same. My body is re-shaped and therefore, my practice is very different. I need some time to adjust to seeing this new person. Even though I lost weight, my body looks much different now than when I was this weight before. Very strange. I need to get some of that tone and muscle back but the BossLady tells me that a lof the re-shaping happens in P3. Gonna trust the BossLady on this one...

I am also not as flexible as I was when I was practicing regularly before. That will return in time, as will my stamina. There were people that I used to practice with that noticed the difference in my weight, and that feels nice. But my mind couldn't escape the negative thoughts tonight.

I got pretty emotional in the final poses because I was exhausted and embarrassed. I know that when practicing, I need to leave everything "outside the room" but it kept creeping back to me when I was struggling and lacked stamina. I was more consistent when I was heavy. I know it will come back and probably be easier. I had set myself up for disappointment by thinking a "thinner" me would make practice so much easier and that I would be able to execute all the poses without any trouble. But my body could not simply keep up with the calorie burn and I lost steam in the final minutes.

I think I need to get in some complex carbs on days when I do bikram - perhaps a banana or some melba with peanut butter. It is difficult to sustain a practice not eating carbs. Lesson learned. Going back on Thursday night and I will let everyone know how it goes:). This time, I will try to leave everyone outside the room .

A lot less of me and hoping to give more to this blog

So I just finished my first round of the HCG diet and it was a truly awesome experience. I feel better than I have in YEARS and I am 23 pounds lighter.

As awesome as it was, this diet is not for the weak - I struggled. There were days I felt physically sick as my body detoxed. There were days where I felt like I could not possibly get out of bed. But those days ended after a week. Once my body realized that I was ridding myself of the chemicals and preservatives I was eating, it seemed to express gratitude by releasing a lot of this weight (physical and emotional) that I have been holding onto. There are a million reasons to do this diet and a million reasons not to do it - only you can decide what is good for you.

People always ask me what I think about the diet, as it is very controversial. I honestly do not believe this diet is safe to do without medical supervision. It is very hard on your body, physically and emotionally and my naturopath was awesome. She provided the right amount of support and encouragement. She was GREAT! But there are some very strange things that happen to your body and I think that medical advice and guidance is key to making sure that 1. this diet is right for you by performing the necessary preliminary tests, so that you can be successful and 2. make sure that you are progressing in a healthy, positive way.

I also think that the mental changes are key. You cannot just do this diet to look better. You won't keep the weight off unless you deal with the mental and chemical issues that underpin the weight issues.

I would have never made it through this diet without two very important people.

First, Turkey. Turkey and I did the diet together and he was a ROCK. He not only stuck to protocol himself, but he talked me off of many ledges, constantly reassured me. I feel so incredibly loved, so beautiful, so complete because of him. This diet made us stronger as a couple because it forced us to bond in ways that did not involve food. We didn't go out with our friends and just took the time to be introspective of our relationship while we went through this journey together. I could not be prouder of him because of all the weight he lost (over 35 lbs) but I could not be prouder to call him my partner in love and life. So incredibly in love.

Second, the BossLady (you know who you are). She took the time to answer my frantic emails about food, talk me through the strange feelings and just brought an easy ear. She has no obligation to listen to me as I talk through these struggles, but her experience with this diet (and in life) is invaluable to me. She always asked me "How are you doing?" She didn't bring judgment to the table. She never does. That is an incredible quality that I want to emulate, not only in the personal arena, but also in the professional one. This diet completely wrecked me and some days, just hearing someone say, "That's okay" really turned it around. So incredibly grateful. She teaches me a lot about personal courage. Pretty awesome.

So, right now, I am in the processing of re-integrating food into my life in a controlled and unemotional way. This diet truly does change how a person thinks about food. I am an emotional eater and I was forced to confront that, sometimes daily. I have food sensitivities that I was never aware and eliminating or limiting those foods will helpfully let me continue to be living with less pain.

So will I do another round?? At this point, I am not sure. I am optimistic that I can maintain this new weight by eating right and getting back into the hot room. I am also excited to try some new classes (Sumits yoga and spinning).

Also, I think I will try to post some pics of the new me once the orange "vegas tan" tones down a bit;). So thanks for standing by people... :)